Tricia was shown right to a seat in a $4/$8 game when she got into the poker room. She spent the next few minutes getting a handle on the players as a myriad of thoughts ran through her mind.
What was Matt up to, she wondered. She had been sure he would be hounding her to know what she was doing every second of the time and yet he barely seemed to care that she was gone. She knew from talking to her parents that he’d only been to see Matty for a little while. When she’d questioned them about it they had sounded so unconcerned about it that it seemed strange. The feeling that something was going on was hard to shake but if it was something that even her parents knew about how could it be bad?
Her friend Mary Beth had been no better. When Tricia had called her the conversation had been truly strange. Mary Beth even seemed to take Matt’s side of things which was a complete reversal of her usual attitude. Tricia had been assured that Mary Beth had seen Matt around town and that he looked normal. When she’d asked Tricia if she should check to see if Matt’s truck was at the house at night Tricia had been tempted but had declined.
Tricia tried to itemize in her mind all the things that were going on. Matt’s seeming indifference to her being gone as well as his indifference even before she left was one. Seeing Jaime and feeling the old attraction to him was another. Then there was a newly forming attraction to Rick and a growing general sense of desire. Tricia was feeling lost in a sea of emotions, wants and desires she felt ill equipped to handle.
She was brought back to the reality of the game she was in by losing another close hand. It was the third or fourth time that she’d had a good hand and lost to a slightly better one. The hands that she had won had not offset the losses as the pots had been disappointingly small.
Looking up she saw Rick watching from nearby. She got up and walked over to him.
“How’s it going?” he asked.
“It sucks,” Tricia said. “I’m getting second best cards and when I do win they are small pots. Something doesn’t feel right. I’ve got a lot on my mind but it’s not that. There is something about this game that doesn’t feel right.”
Rick nodded and asked. “How many good players would you say there are in it? How many players as good as you? Better than you?”
Tricia shrugged and looked back at the table. “The guy in the ten seat is the best. I just try to stay out of his way. That girl in the three, no the four seat, is good I think. She is a little unpredictable but seems to know what she is doing. The guy in the striped shirt and the old guy in red are both decent.”
“And how many really weak players are there?”
“One or two,” Tricia answered.
“You’ve got a good feel for the game Tricia,” Rick said. “In a low limit hold’em game like that you would be lucky to eek out one big bet per hour with that field. Are you really willing to grind away at that small a game to maybe make $8 an hour?”
Tricia shook her head. “I’d rather not.”
“Then when you get in a game that you know you can’t beat the thing to do is get out before you lose much. Ask for a table change to a different $4/$8 game, move up a level maybe. You really are good enough to play a bigger game. I don’t know if you have the bankroll for it or not but I know you have the skill set for it.” Rick told her.
Tricia shook her head. “I’m not ready for bigger and I don’t like the idea of no-limit cash games at all.”
“Then find a different $4/$8 game.” Rick said.
“How?”
“Well you’re not really going to be able to pick your game easily but you can watch some,” Rick said as he looked up at the board listing all the games going. “There are six $4/$8 limit tables. I doubt you would find one worse than the one you’re on. You can just ask for a table change to the next available seat.”
“You can do that?”
“Of course you can.” Rick said.
“Are you sure?”
Rick laughed at her hesitation. “You really haven’t played much have you? I was sure considering how you played in that tournament that you were downplaying how much you’d played.”
“I really have not played all that much,” Tricia said. “I play online a lot but changing tables there is easy and besides I do mostly tournaments online. When we go to casinos near home I just get in whatever game is there.”
“Come on,” Rick said taking her hand and pulling her toward the podium at the head of the room.
Once there Rick said, “Just tell them what table you’re on and that you want a table change.”
Looking at him unsurely she saw him nod confidently. She turned her attention to the woman signing people up for games. “Excuse me. I’m playing on table 103 but I’d like to change to another table.”
“Ok,” The woman said looking at the computer screen in front of her. “You still want the same limit?”
Tricia nodded.
“I have one on table 112. Will that be ok?”
Tricia looked at Rick who said, “Try it..you can change again.”
“If it’s not too much trouble that would be good ma’am.”
The woman smiled at her. “That’s what I’m here for. Move on over.” She picked up the microphone in front of her and said, “Player in Table 112”.
As she walked back to her table with Rick she said, “That’s all there is to it?”
“Yep. You could spend time watching each table and pick the one you want. They will put you on the list for the next seat at that table. That’s what I’m waiting for now. I found a nice juicy $30/$60 game and I’m waiting for a seat.”
“Shit! Are you kidding? $30/$60?”
“When I get on if you want a break come watch for a while. You’ll see it’s not that much different than what you are doing.”
“I can’t believe that,” Tricia said in wonder. “I’ll take you up on that though.
The new table proved to be much better, amazingly better, and Tricia went on a rush that got her a couple of hundred dollars up over the next several hours. She did spend some time watching Rick play and while she realized that the game was not that much different the sizes of the bets boggled her mind. She knew that she was neither financially or emotionally ready for a game that size.
Over the speaker there was an announcement of the final table of the days event. Tricia was a bit chagrined that she’d not gone to check on Jaime even once. She heard his name among those about to start final table play and decided to cash out and go watch.
The final table was surrounded on three sides by low bleachers and she took a seat. It was nearly deserted which surprised her. Jaime saw her and smiled. In between hands he got up and came over to her.
“Hey there,” He said. “How’d you do today?”
“Good,” she said. “Up another couple hundred. Rick taught me about changing tables. The one I was on first really sucked.”
“Well that’s good,” Jaime said, his face clouding a bit at the mention of Rick.
“Congratulations on making the final table!” Tricia said enthusiastically.
“Thanks,” Jaime smiled back. “I’d better get back though.”
Tricia watched as he played. The first player went down to the chip leader and then Jaime took out another player who he just barely had covered nearly doubling his own chips and moving into second place.
Rick came by a play continued. “I thought I might find you here when I didn’t find you at the tables. How’s he doing?”
Tricia looked at Rick but didn’t see any signs of the jealousy she thought she saw earlier in the day. “He’s doing great. He nearly doubled up a bit ago and looks to be in second now. Somebody else just went out so there are only seven left. It’s really exciting.”
“Sounds like he’s doing good but you know this could take several more hours right? Don’t forget you are playing tomorrow at noon. It’s already midnight.”
“I know,” Tricia said. “I just want to see how he does. Want to sit and watch with me a bit?”
“I’m going to try to get plenty of sleep tonight,” Rick said. “You should too you know.”
<P class='MsoBodyTextFirstIndentstyle="MARGIN:' 6pt? 0in>She looked at him and didn’t see anything in his expression but it sure sounded to her like he would rather she didn’t watch Jaime. She wondered if it was all in her mind. Maybe she’d imagined it all earlier when she was talking to both Jaime and Rick.“I’ll be ok,” she said. “I’m just going to stay a while longer. We don’t start tomorrow until noon anyway.”
“Ok,” Rick said. “I’m going to head out though.”
“Ok,” Tricia said feeling a little disappointed. She’d have liked to have company watching and somebody to discuss the hands with.
She noticed though that Jaime was watching them and looked a little relieved when Rick left and she stayed. At least she thought he did.
Time went fast as play continued and there were four people left with Jaime in either second or third when he got involved in a big hand with the chip leader. Just like that it was over and Jaime was out in fourth place.
He came over to Tricia who said. “Oh Jaime! I thought you were going to double up. You were way ahead on the flop!”
Jaime shrugged. “It happens. I’m pleased with fourth although I’m getting a little tired of taking fourth. In the past six months in various tournaments when I’ve made final tables I’ve gotten fourth seven times.”
He was smiling though and Tricia hugged him and said, “Well I think fourth is great. It was over twelve thousand dollars Jamie! That is so great!”
Jaime hugged her back and she looked into his eyes. He looked happy but there was also, she thought, something else there. Maybe a little desire.
“I’m so happy for you Jaime!” she said and stretched up to kiss him.
He kissed her back this time and she felt an immediate flood of desire course through her body. She could feel that he shared it as their kiss deepened.
She nodded. “I know.”
They looked at one another for a moment. Tricia waited, hoping he was going to tell her he loved her and ask if he could stay with her that night. When he didn’t say anything she finally said quietly, “Will you stay with me tonight? Let me congratulate you properly?”
He squeezed her tightly and sighed. “God I want to. I really do Tricia. I can’t though. I made a promise, not just to you but to myself. If we did and it caused the problem it did last time I could never forgive myself. Especially since you have a son now.”
She rested her head on his chest, tears filling her eyes. Then she looked up. “Shit I knew you were going to say that. You must think I’m a terrible person for even asking after what happened the last time.”
He shook his head. “Tricia, incredible as it may seem I still have the same feelings for you as I did back then. I just can’t offer you a future. What about your son? I can’t justify hurting you and your family just because I happen to want you so badly it hurts. I wish I could.”
She could see he meant it and see the pain it was causing him even as tears coursed down her face.
“Please don’t cry baby,” Jaime said softly, wiping her tears away with his finger. “I wish it was different but it’s not. It’s the same as it was only worse now with you having little Matty. Can’t you see that? Remember what you went through before.”
“Hell he’s not checking up on me at all Jaime,” Tricia said. “He’d never know. Shit he probably doesn’t even care!”
“Do you believe that?”
“Shit I don’t know Jaime. I really don’t know.”
Jaime took a deep breath. “Tricia I can’t. I’m sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am.”
She nodded. “I’ve made enough of a fool of myself. I should get to bed I have to play tomorrow.”
“You didn’t make a fool of yourself sweetheart,” Jaime said, the pain he was feeling evident in his voice. “I’m sorry I put you in this position by being here. I should have left when I found out for sure you were here.”
She shook her head. “No, this is where you belong. Maybe I shouldn’t have come.”
“I don’t know Tricia. Just try not to hate me ok?”
“I don’t. I can’t,” Tricia said, coming very close to telling him that she loved him as she knew she still did. What stopped her was thinking about what he’d said about the last time and how miserable a time she’d had when Matt had discovered them. She thought of Matty. “Jaime. I have to go now.”
He just nodded and released her. She sighed and give him a quick light peck on the cheek. Blinking back tears she said quietly, “Congratulations again. I’m so proud of you. And please know that I will never, ever hate you.”
She turned then and practically ran out of the nearly deserted poker room.
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