Chapter 42

The two boys wolfed down their lunch just the way boys always have so that they could get back to the playground. After the boys pelted back to the playground Tricia and Kerrie continued eating at a more sedate pace. During the enforced break from their previous conversation Tricia had been thinking about it and shortly after the boys left she made her decision.

“I saw Jaime when I was in Indiana at that tournament.” Tricia blurted out.

Kerrie stopped with her sandwich poised to take another bite, obviously processing that statement.

“Oh my God! Is that why you went? Did you have that set up?” Kerrie asked.

“No! I swear it’s not. I went for the reason I said. I went to play poker. I didn’t find out until just before the tournament that Jaime would be there. Even then I wasn’t sure he would be.”

“How could that be?”

Tricia told Kerrie about the card that had come. “It wasn’t signed but it was identical to the only card he ever got to send me. I knew who it was from even with no return address and no signature.”

“Was he trying to warn you off or invite you to come if you weren’t already?”

“He swears he was just trying to let me know he would be there,” Tricia told Kerrie. “and I believe him.”

“Wow,” Kerrie said. “So did you guys pick up where you left off? I mean it had been a long time and really you’d only known him a very short time.”

Tricia shook her head. “I swear to you I didn’t sleep with him. It was almost spooky though how the same connection was still there. You have no idea how many times in the past eight years I wondered about how it would be if I met him again.”

“I can imagine,” Kerrie said. “And if you felt the same way then you deserve a lot of credit for not sleeping with him. I know I would have.”

“You wouldn’t cheat on Dan,” Tricia protested. “You might have done it before but I can’t believe you would now.”

Kerrie shook her head. “If there had been anybody that I’d cared for that much and if they’d shown the desire to then I’d have done it. I told you that half of what I got myself into after I left the Dickhead was because I just didn’t have the willpower to say no. Not that I regret much, if any, of it.”

“Jaime didn’t try to get me in bed with him again,” Tricia said. “I know he wanted to. It was me pushing him though. I feel really guilty about that but the feelings were still there and God help me I wanted him.”

“But he wasn’t feeling the same way? I thought you said he was.”

“I have no doubt he was,” Tricia replied with a sigh. “I made it hard for him but he had decided we should try to be just friends and he stuck to that even though I threw myself on him a couple of times. I’m pretty ashamed of that.”

Kerrie looked at Tricia curiously. “Somehow I just don’t see yourself throwing yourself on a guy.”

“Well believe it,” Tricia said with a bark of laughter. “I found out I have some real slut tendencies. I was feeling really horny I guess. Matt had been pretty much ignoring me for a couple of months. We’d maybe had sex three times in the two months previous to me leaving. It wasn’t even just the sex. I didn’t feel wanted, didn’t feel desireable.”

Kerrie nodded but didn’t say anything.

“Then I got there and Jaime was there. I could tell by looking at him and the way he looked at me that he still felt the same way. I didn’t even wait for him to make a move. I have never acted that way in my life but I just tried to get what I wanted.”

“And he had other ideas?” Kerrie asked quietly.

Tricia shrugged. “Yeah. When it all blew up eight years ago he promised to have no contact with me. He told me then that he wanted to do nothing to come between me and Matt. He stuck to that, except for the card.”

“He sounds like a great guy,” Kerrie said. “but how did you take that? I think I’d have felt kind of rejected.”

“I guess maybe I did in a way,” Tricia admitted. “I mean I knew he wasn’t really rejecting me, not sexually but damn it I guess I didn’t want him deciding what was best for me.”

Kerrie looked appraisingly at Tricia and was about to speak when Tricia went on.

“I guess that is how I ended up fooling around with Rick.”

Kerrie’s mouth dropped open. “Say what?”

Tricia blushed and told Kerrie about Rick. She told him about meeting him at the poker table, the first innocent dinner they shared and how she’d ended up in his room another night and the results of that.”

“Now I see why you like these poker tournaments girl,” Kerrie said lightly.

Tricia blushed deeply. “I swear I did go just for the poker. I didn’t intend to do that stuff. I settled down later. Even though I drank too much and partied too much a time or two I pretty much behaved myself.”

“Well damn,” Kerrie said with a smile. “Can you teach me to play poker?”

Tricia laughed. “I could but you don’t mean that.”

“Well I do and I don’t.” Kerrie said. “I was jealous of you getting to get away like that. Make no mistake I love both Walker and Jason to death and the last thing I want to do is cheat on Dan but damn girl you got to spent two weeks in a whole other world and listen to all the fun you had. And you made a pile of money doing it all. What’s not to be jealous of?”

“So you don’t think I’m terrible?” Tricia asked. “I kind of thought you might think I was considering I pretty much cheated on Matt again.”

Kerrie looked at Tricia appraisingly and then leaned over and gave her a big hug.

“Maybe I’m rationalizing this Tricia but to me it seems like you kept that world separate from this one. I didn’t hear anything in what you’d said that made me think you love Matt any less or plan to leave him for any of those people or that life. Ok so maybe you’ll take a break from your world here a time or two or a few times a year but you’ll come back. And I think you’ll come back refreshed and ready to handle the challenges and hassles you face every day. Lots of people would love to be able to do that, not many would be able to keep it separate like it seems you can.”

Tricia looked at Kerrie and saw she meant it. She took a deep breath. “I have thought about it a lot and that’s sort of how I saw it, a temporary vacation from reality almost. Mostly what I got out of that experience though was pride in my ability to stretch and grow and handle a new environment. I was so scared and intimidated when I got there and by the time I left I felt like I belonged. I think the next time I go to a tournament I may be able to do it and even behave myself and not end up having sex with somebody I just met.”

Kerrie chuckled. “Well damn, I was hoping to live vicariously through you and here you’re going to behave.”

Tricia stared at Kerrie who was grinning at her. “You’re kidding right?”

Kerrie shrugged. “I don’t know. What I do know is that when you talk about the experience your whole being lights up. You obviously found something you loved. You are also obviously good at it too.”

Tricia shrugged. “I don’t know about that. Maybe it was beginners luck. Maybe the next time I go I’ll lose my whole bankroll. That’s what I expected this time.”

“And maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll do great again. I have a feeling whichever it is you’ll be glad you were there. And if you go to a few parties and even have a sort of shipboard romance what the hell.”

Tricia shook her head. “It boggles my mind that you would say that after what your ex did to you Kerrie.”

“Hell if he’d stuck to discreet flings I’d have been ok. I was getting everything I wanted from him. You can’t compare what you did to what he did. He was warped Tricia. It became an obsession to him. He was almost literally screwing anybody by the end, he had no control at all. It was affecting every facet of his life. You would never get like that. Hell I guess I gave it my best shot and I couldn’t get like that even all the shit I tried after I kicked his bony ass out.”

Kerrie’s eyes were wet and Tricia gave her a hug.

Kerrie held on to Tricia and, looking into her eyes, said quietly. “honestly Tricia I don’t think you should feel all that guilty. Yeah you should be careful. Obviously some people can get addicted to sex and he was one of them. I don’t see you ever getting that way. It sounds to me like you got more pleasure from the poker part anyway once you really got rolling. The poker and just the socializing with new and exciting friends sound to me like what really got you going. If something else happens well then just keep what happens in Vegas in Vegas. Isn’t that what they say?”

Tricia nodded. “I still feel guilty.”

“Well then just go to play poker and behave yourself. You can do it.”

“I know.” Tricia said. “I feel guilty for leaving Matty too though. That doesn’t seem right.”

“Why not?” Kerrie said. “Your job as a parent is to care for him. You did that. You can’t be there every second. Lots of parents travel. Matt could have been there for him. Your parents were there for him. You took care of him by arranging for good loving responsible care for him. I admit I’m disappointed that Matt doesn’t seem to take a more active role. After all you’ve told me it was his idea for you to have kids at all.”

Tricia nodded. She felt the same way and knew that Kerrie knew it.

She was about to comment on that when her cell phone rang. She looked at it and didn’t recognize the number. Answering it she said a cautious hello.

“Hi Tricia this is Kevin James.” She heard.

It took a second for her to process the name and then she said, “Kevin! Hi! How are you?”

“I’m fine,” Kevin said. “Is this a bad time?”

“Not at all. I’m at a park with a friend and our kids so I shouldn’t talk long though.”

Kerrie was watching her, eyebrows raised, a smile on her face. Tricia smiled back and covering the phone said, “I’ll tell you about him in a minute ok?”

Kerrie nodded.

“I won’t take up much of your time Tricia,” Kevin said. “I am going to be in the area the day after tomorrow and wondered if I could swing by and see you. Maybe meet your son and your husband.”

“Really?” Tricia asked. “Well I guess that would be ok. I told Matt about you. I don’t know what he’ll think of it but I can’t see why he’d mind.”

“Would you like to check with him first?”

“No, it’s ok,” Tricia said and then asked, “Are you going to be coming alone or is anybody coming with you?”

“Jaime for instance?” Kevin asked with a chuckle.

“He’s not is he?” Tricia asked in a near panic. “That would not be a good idea Kevin.”

Kevin chuckled. “Relax. I’m not that insensitive to things. I know better than that. Actually Carolyn Snow will be with me.”

“Carolyn?” Tricia asked curiously. “Will Rick be coming too?”

At the mention of that name Kerrie perked up and looked curiously at Tricia.

Kevin laughed again. “That wouldn’t be a lot better now would it?”

Tricia shook her head, somewhat flustered. Then she remembered Kevin could not see that. “No I am not sure that would be a good idea. Obviously I did not tell Matt that part but I’m not sure if I could handle having Rick there.”

“Not to fear,” Kevin said. “he will be playing a tournament series in California as a warm up to the WSOP. Carolyn are on our way to Europe for some promotions.”

“And that takes you through Cincinnati?”

“No you are what takes me through Cincinnati. If you have no objections that is.”

“Of course not but I don’t see why you’d waste time on me.”

“Maybe I don’t consider visiting a friend a waste of time.” Kevin said.

Tricia felt herself blushing. “Of course not and I’m honored you think of me that way. I’d love to see both of you.”

“We get in mid morning the day after tomorrow and have a stop to make that should leave us free by early to middle afternoon. Can you give me directions to your house? We can just come by when we get free if that will work for you.”

“Sure,” Tricia said, still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that Kevin and Carolyn were taking the time to visit her. She gave Kevin directions and answered a few questions about them and then hung up.

Kerrie was looking at her expectantly.

“I told you about Kevin James and how he seemed to take an interest in me,” Tricia said. Then seeing Kerrie’s eyebrows go up she added. “And I mean a professional interest I swear!”

“Ok!” Kerrie said holding her hands up in surrender but smiling broadly.

“Honest!” Tricia said. “He and Carolyn Snow are coming to visit the day after tomorrow.”

“Cool,” Kerrie said.

“It really is,” Tricia said. “I’ll be glad to see him. I wonder what he wants? He said he and Carolyn are on their way to Europe for some kind of promotions. The WSOP is coming up so I guess they will be hopping over there and coming right back. It must be nice.”

Kerrie smiled.“I’m jealous of your trips and you’re jealous of theirs. What goes around comes around huh?”

Tricia laughed and began wondering in earnest what was really bringing Kevin and Carolyn to visit her.